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How to Overcome Ego’s Hold on You
Some great suggestions to help you transcend ingrained ideas of ego and self-importance, along with seven downright easy steps for overcoming Ego’s tight grip on you.
1. Stop being offended.
Don’t take everything personal.
The behavior of others isn’t a reason to be immobilized. That which offends you only weakens you. If you’re looking for occasions to be offended, you’ll find them at every turn. This is your ego at work convincing you that the world shouldn’t be the way it is. By all means, act to eradicate the horrors of the world, which emanate from massive ego identification, but stay in peace. Being offended creates the same destructive energy that offended you in the first place and leads to attack, counterattack, and war.
2. Let go of your need to win.
Just be there having fun in the moment.
Ego loves to divide us up into winners and losers. The pursuit of winning is a surefire means to avoid conscious contact with intention. Why? Because ultimately, winning is impossible all of the time. Someone out there will be faster, luckier, younger, stronger, and smarter-and back you’ll go to feeling worthless and insignificant. You’re not your winnings or your victories. You may enjoy competing, and have fun in a world where winning is everything, but you don’t have to be there in your thoughts. There are no losers in a world where we all share the same energy source. All you can say on a given day is that you performed at a certain level in comparison to the levels of others on that day. But today is another day, with other competitors and new circumstances to consider. Let go of needing to win by not agreeing that the opposite of winning is losing. That’s ego’s fear. If your body isn’t performing in a winning fashion on this day, it simply doesn’t matter when you aren’t identifying exclusively with your ego. Be the observer, noticing and enjoying it all without needing to win a trophy. Be at peace, and match up with the energy of intention. And ironically, although you’ll hardly notice it, more of those victories will show up in your life as you pursue them less.
3. Let go of your need to be right.
Just make choices based on love from heart.
Ego is the source of a lot of conflict and dissension because it pushes you in the direction of making other people wrong. When you’re hostile, you’ve disconnected from being rational. Letting go of your need to be right in your discussions and relationships is like saying to ego, I’m not a slave to you. I want to embrace kindness, and I reject your need to be right. In fact, I’m going to offer this person a chance to feel better by saying that she’s right, and thank her for pointing me in the direction of truth. When you let go of the need to be right, you’re able to strengthen your connection to the power of intention. But keep in mind that ego is a determined combatant. I’ve seen people end otherwise beautiful relationships by sticking to their need to be right. I urge you to let go of this ego-driven need to be right by stopping yourself in the middle of an argument and asking yourself, Do I want to be right or be happy? When you choose the happy, loving, friendly mood, your connection to others strengthened.
4. Let go of your need to be superior.
Develop self-control and by not controlling or not judging others.
True nobility isn’t about being better than someone else. It’s about being better than you used to be. Stay focused on your growth, with a constant awareness that no one on this planet is any better than anyone else. We all emanate from the same creative life force. We all have a mission to realize our intended existance; all that we need to fulfill our intentions is available to us. None of this is possible when you see yourself as superior to others. It’s an old saw, but nonetheless true: we are all equal. Let go of your need to feel superior by seeing the good in everyone. Don’t assess others on the basis of their appearance, achievements, possessions, and other indices of ego. When you project feelings of superiority that’s what you get back, leading to resentments and ultimately hostile feelings.
5. Let go of your need to have more.
By grateful with what you have and know that whatever you need the universe will provide.
The mantra of ego is more. It’s never satisfied. No matter how much you achieve or acquire, your ego will insist that it isn’t enough. You’ll find yourself in a perpetual state of striving, and eliminate the possibility of ever arriving. Yet in reality you’ve already arrived, and how you choose to use this present moment of your life is your choice. Ironically, when you stop needing more, more of what you desire seems to arrive in your life. Since you’re detached from the need for it, you find it easier to pass it along to others, because you realize how little you need in order to be satisfied and at peace.
6. Let go of identifying yourself on the basis of your achievements.
By allowing opporunities to come to you.
This may be a difficult concept if you think you are your achievements. I can hear your ego loudly protesting. Nevertheless, stay tuned to this idea. You’re not this body and its accomplishments. Notice it all; and be grateful for the abilities you’ve accumulated. The less you need to take credit for your achievements and the more connected you stay, the more you’re free to achieve, and the more will show up for you.
7. Let go of your reputation.
By being sincere at all times.
Your reputation is not located in you. It resides in the minds of others. Therefore, you have no control over it at all. If you speak to 30 people, you will have 30 reputations. Connecting to intention means listening to your heart and conducting yourself based on what your inner voice tells you is your purpose here. If you’re overly concerned with how you’re going to be perceived by everyone, then you’ve disconnected yourself from intention and allowed the opinions of others to guide you. This is your ego at work. It’s an illusion that stands between you and being at peace. There’s nothing you can’t do, unless you disconnect from rationality and become convinced that your purpose is to prove to others how masterful and superior you are and spend your energy attempting to win a giant reputation among other egos. Stay on purpose, detach from outcome, and take responsibility for what does reside in you: your character. Leave your reputation for others to debate; it has nothing to do with you.
Excerpted from the original post written by Dr. Wayne Dyer on this subject.
EGO stands for Edging God Out
EGO is a word we hear a lot about these days, we all have one, some are larger then others, but in someway we all have one. The ego serves only one purpose, and that is to make you feel better about whom you are. That in-of-it self is not a bad thing, but the ego has no concern for others, or really for it’s self.
The ego will, and has, destroyed many a great person, all in the name of defending it’s self. The whole purpose of the ego is to self preserve it self. The ego’s job is to make you feel better about yourself, and it will do what ever it needs to do to make that happen. The ego is the voice inside of you that tells you to kick them when they are down, to make others feel bad about themselves; all in the name of lifting yourself up, making you feel better about you.
We see it all the time, and I am sure we have all lived it. We take the opportunity to use others disadvantages to our advantage. Sad but true, we here about it on the news, read about it in the paper, or we see it first hand. But we fail to see it when we are the ones doing it, we justify it, we turn it around and repackage it, dress it up to make it look better, we may even call it by different names, but in the end its all the same, it is the ego doing its job, using others misfortunes to its advantage.
Some will argue that the ego is needed, that it really does serve a good purpose. But the argument is week at best and self-serving at all times. We tend to want to hold on to that which makes us feel better. Much like any addict, we need to get that ego fix daily or we start to go through withdrawal symptoms. We start to feel the tingling of self-doubt setting in, the layers of falsehood start to peel off, and we head in to a tail spin of despair, as we try to piece back together the image of self that was created thru deception and ignorance of others.
The ego does not allow for God to truly be present in you, there is no room to serve the god within you, It clouds the spirituality in you, and hinders the divinity within you. This ego replaces the God within each one of us by edging God out. This is why, many religious scriptures, warn about the sin of pride and the sin-of-self. Always remember that the greatest battle ever is happening withing you and keep reminding yourself that pride (ego) is a road block to true happiness.
The ego is a very powerful elephant which cannot be brought under control by any creature less powerful than a lion, which, in this instance, is none other than the Guru, whose very looks make the elephant-like ego tremble and die. You will know in due course that your glory lies where you cease to exist.
What is ego and why are we wearing an ego mask?
Much of the problems in today’s world is somewhat directly or indirectly related to the ego within our self. Mr. Ego has grown in us since childhood, well nurtured and often not easily deflatable. Ego is not our real self and sits over our heart, clouds our thinking that comes out of the brain. Many of us wear an ego mask giving a false persona (persona derives from the Latin for “mask”), and seldom do we realize that we wearing one or just don’t want to think so. A egoistic person is driven by the perceptions in their head, and not the feelings in their heart. But ego makes our lives miserable, and has many health problems that can be attributed to this. Our individual egos manifest on a grander scale as a group, which only compounds the problem. How can we deflate this ego, they say enlightenment equals ego-death.
Much research regarding ego has been done on the scientific realm, but the following series of talks given by Sahaja Yoga Meditation guru Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi way back in 1978 in London, UK gives a more pragmatic, folksy, and down-to-earth appeal to this important subject.
- The problem of ego
- Ego makes you stupid
- Ego is not your self
- You have to laugh at your ego not fight it
- When the ego covers the Sahasrara it stops the Kundalini
Never forget that while we all have different inflated sizes of ego, always remember that we are not our ego, and that an ultimate truth is within us which lies in stillness, which gives peace, love, compassion and pure bliss. So, when an unkind thought or word pops up, or we look around us in judgmental condemnation, just acknowledge you egos handy work and re-centre your self and once again attempt to cast off the labels and stories of this false ruler of our mind. Be a watchful observer of Mr. Ego and don’t allow him to take you on a ego trip again.
